Friday, August 11, 2006(Oregon, Wisconsin) Homo Automobilicus: a species of soft, atrophied invertebrate that spends much of its life isolated within a two-ton motorized exoskeleton on wheels. Homo automobilicus has lost the ability to move itself more than fifty to one hundred meters; consequently it is seldom to be found out of doors anywhere beyond its lair, suburbianum ridus mowanacreae. Between five and twelve times per day, the exoskeleton of homo automobilicus can be seen speeding along the broad, constantly expanding asphalt-and-concrete trails that lead from its lair to its every destination.
DISCLAIMER: Hans Noeldner is a Trustee in the Village of Oregon, Wisconsin. The views herein do not necessarily represent those of the Oregon Village Board.